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No reason
What makes the depression heavy is the guilt knowing I have no right to be depressed. I have no right to show or speak on my depression because I have nothing bad going on. My life is considered good so I keep quiet. Unfortunately it doesn’t change how depressed I feel.
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The worst part about surviving it all is the chronic health issues that follow
I’m still suffering everyday What was the point of surviving Death has never seemed so sweet
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There is nothing special about you
People battle chronic illnesses and die everyday. That’s just life. We all will die. How you end up dying is nothing special. Whether you suffer for a long period or not – doesn’t matter. It happens to everyone. Embrace the inevitable. *by “you” I mean me. Speaking purely to myself here*
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Open Wound
Although you said it was a joke – I’m going to be honest – I don’t think I’ll be able to come back from this. Unfortunately, you hit the deepest wound I have. Feeling like people don’t care. You were the only one I felt like cared about me. What I had to say or…
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Mallory
When I was in high school, I learned that cats hide away from their owners when they are sick and know they are dying. They hide away to die privately. I’m trying to follow suit, but it’s hard pushing people away. I don’t want your help. You can’t help me. I don’t want to hurt…
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Suffering
I hear everyone just working away and I’m literally suffocating over here. I can’t swallow, gasping. Taking deep breaths. I can’t do this anymore. “I just want to be normal.” I think as I hold back tears at my desk. Death would be so sweet.
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Underlying Issue
How is it when I fantasize about ending it all – my main concern is how do I make the clean up the least amount burdensome…
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I don’t know
Is there beauty in the sadness? Is there beauty in the lonely?
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Double Wammy
When you are so unhappy and full of pain from life and no longer want to be a part of this experience, while simultaneously feeling the pain of guilt and the pain from knowing the sadness those that love you would feel if you followed through. Stuck in a never ending loop of pain and…
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What’s real anymore
Today has been especially strange. Too many things happening that makes saying, it’s a “coincidence”, a blatant lie. To the point that reality isn’t feeling real. Am I having an episode? A disorder perhaps? I don’t know what to do. I’m not in danger or a danger to others, but I feel out of place.…
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Beauty and Chaos 