-
I want to be taken care of
I’m tired. I deal with so many things constantly while also suppressing my wants, needs and feelings to make everyone else comfortable. No one cares about my comfort. No one shows me the attention when I speak, the rare moments that I do, like I show everyone else. No one else figures out or handles…
-
Dark Fantasy
I think I fetishize my suffering and misfortune. To the point where when I really sit back and think about my life and where I am – it’s pretty good. It is good. Life could truly be so much worse in many ways. I get angry saying I’m just settling and convincing myself that this…
-
False Positivity
I was feeling optimistic about the future and actually looking forward to living life. For a moment I thought, life might actually be good and worth while. Then I almost fainted for no good god damn reason for the first time ever in my life. That’s when I remembered that all life is – is…
-
Double Wammy
When you are so unhappy and full of pain from life and no longer want to be a part of this experience, while simultaneously feeling the pain of guilt and the pain from knowing the sadness those that love you would feel if you followed through. Stuck in a never ending loop of pain and…
-
Easy now
I’m trying to be easy on myself these days. Trying not to expect anything out of life anymore but also trying not to be angry about it either. I’ve realized there is a lot of anger inside of me. Like a burning fire that’s storming within. I clench my teeth and bite my tongue because,…
-
Guilt
I’ve given you 28 years and I know I’m at my limit. I want to run away and be free. I’m tired of being drained by you, yet I feel I owe you. I feel obligated to engage in unwanted conversation. I feel responsible that you have no one to spend time with. I feel…
-
Time
I feel so constricted by time. There is this constant pressure that I’m running out of time. I only have so much time before I go to bed to be able to do my nightly routine which takes so much time. I need to go to bed as soon as possible or I won’t have…
-
Subscribe
Subscribed
Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
Beauty and Chaos 