Beauty and Chaos

Today has been especially strange. Too many things happening that makes saying, it’s a “coincidence”, a blatant lie. To the point that reality isn’t feeling real. Am I having an episode? A disorder perhaps? I don’t know what to do. I’m not in danger or a danger to others, but I feel out of place. Not in my body today. Many feelings and emotions that contradict one another happening simultaneously. Almost as if life is happening to me and I’m just observing and experiencing. Like the fourth wall is broken. Something is trying to tell me something but is also contradicting itself. Paradox. Quantum being. Like some black mirror shit. Am I going to wake up from a dream any moment? From the moment I woke up I felt like I was in a different reality. I’m familiar with this and have come to terms with that possibility but when it’s so obvious it makes me scared. Do I have any control over this at all? What is this place. Are we powerful or not? So much unknown happening around me. So many elements. What to believe. Hmmm… maybe it’s an episode. Yeah. An episode.