Beauty and Chaos

Discipline is the highest form of self love ♥

I’m going to start today. No more excuses. It’s time to do the hard things and love myself. It’s time for me to get disciplined and stop bailing. I have to hold myself accountable for my actions, or lack there of. Just because I’m feeling better doesn’t mean I have the right to start damaging my body like I’ve been, just for a finite moment of ecstasy. In the long term, it’s deadly. No more. I need to learn to become addicted to what’s good for me. Just like when I’d have those dark moments in my past – I just need to sit on my hands and ride the wave until the feeling past. OR, if I’m strong enough, put that energy and anger from being unfulfilled towards something positive and beneficial. I know I can do this. If I can fall, I can get get up and climb. It’s time to climb. I’m going to become that person I dream of being – who is addicted to hitting the gym and eating plant based. Once I reach that, I’m going to get my bachelor’s in nutrition. I didn’t even have to type it – the AI already had it there for me because I know it’s the path for me. Food and nutrition has been such a major factor in my life and the answer to all my chronic issues. If I can commit myself to doing things that are bad for me – I sure as hell can commit myself to doing things that are actually good for me. Here’s to the beginning of becoming the person I need to be and want to be – no matter how hard it gets. I’m going to welcome the struggle and remind myself it means I’m on the right path when it gets hard. I can do this. Gym – tomorrow morning. No excuses ♥